Friday, 20 July 2007
Overall
I have learnt a great deal every time i attend LMS. Lesson are fun and interesting with different kinds of activities planned by our tutor each lesson with some lectures in it so that we enjoy ourselves as we learned. I always doesn't have anytime to sit down and ponder about the aspect of our lives ever the start of the year as i was busy with school work and CCAs everyday.
In the lessons, while learning and enjoying ourselves, i also will take time to ponder about what i have learnt and the things i have experience along the way of life recently and my past, simple things like how i treat people, my conflicts with friends and family, my characters etc.
By reflecting upon myself, i am able to spot my weakness and improve on it and make myself a better person who can be more useful in the society. I have also learn how to better control my anger and handle conflicts from LMS.
This is a dynamic and complex society with people being competitive in whatever they do and seldom they will slow down their paces and look around what really happening around them and reflect on how they react to each situations and how their actions affect others resulting in relationship strains with family and friends.
Lastly, i enjoy learning this module and had fun.
Thank you,
Ms Esther Chin.
エドワルド・マー
3:09 am
Monday, 11 June 2007
Managing Conflicts
Conflicts are struggles disagreements, disputes or quarrels which occurs mostly due to miscommunication and misunderstanding or lack of understanding about each other and when people have different views about certain matters or issues.A summary of what i have learnt during the lesson is Definition of ConflictsBasic Concepts Underlying Concepts are concepts that underlie most conflicts which we need, to understand conflict. There's a few things we need to understand are needs, interests and values.Conflicts can be categorised into five types and by knowing the types of conflict can help us to determine its causes and respond with the appropriate strategies.
The five types of conflicts are Relationship,Data,Interest-based, Strutural, Value-based Conflicts.Constructive Outcomes of ConflictsConflicts can improves self-awareness, strengthen relationships and promotes group cohension,creativity and also helps in problem-solving and lastly it can be fun and motivating.Whenever having any conflicts with my friends, i will try to think what's wrong and what has happen that why we have conflicts mostly i will go appologise as i tends to think i'm in the wrong .
Recently i meet my friends for a jog during exam period, they was trying to disturb me by slowly jog behind me then after that cross the overhead bridge without letting me know.
I was very tired and stress already then wanted to go jog with them because too long never meet up. I don't mind them jogging faster without me for i'm not a fast runner however to play such a trick on me, i felt very disheartened as being friends for so long they still want to like that play and tired of it. Then at the following junction i cross the road, still slowly jogging behind them, there's another overhead bridge in front and i saw them trying to like wanting to do it one more time. Then there i told myself, if they do it once more time, that's it i'm going home, luckily they didn't and continue jogging slowly this time. After a while, i caught up with them but was still very angry with them play such things with me.
There i told them," If you guys want to play such games, then next time don't ask me join you for jogs as my purpose is to jog with you guys." One of my friend was like pissed off with me then tried to imitate me saying it along the jog. But i didn't really bother about that after that though i felt that he was angry with me.After the jog, when i reach home, i sms them and appologise to them i felt i was sort of over-react when they was just joking around with me and it's me who is being too stress with exams therefore was in n0 mood to play and vent my stress on them i guess.Luckily my friends know my pattern thus it's wasn't much of the issue.From then on i learnt that, i should always control myself as having misunderstandings, quarrels with people will lead to certain damage to your relationship with the person. I must try to understand other people and look things from their point of views so that misunderstandings would arise less often between us and I feel that the way to resolve conflicts is to appologise whenever you know you are in the wrong and to try to find out what makes the conflicts arise and work things out from there.
エドワルド・マー
9:48 pm
Thursday, 7 June 2007
Listening Skills
Effective listening is an active two-way process whereby involving receiving and interpreting the speaker's message as accurately as possible.During the lesson i learnt that through listening we could improves confidence and self-esteem of the person being listened to and build teamwork, trust and sense of belonging.
I have learnt as well that there are certain ground rules for effective listening.
L Look interested and Lean
I Ignore or Overcome Internal and External Distractions
S Suspend Judgement
T Tell them what you have heard
E Experience their side
N N0 interruption
For listening to be effective,
Our attitude matters as in towards how we are interested in about what the speaker has to say.
We must be open minded to what they say as if we are going to judge against them based on what they are going to say we would not be able to understand from their point of view.
Resist barriers to listening is exercising my self-awarewareness to analyse and identify my listening barriers then i would decide on how i could overcome or deal with the distractions so as to understand what the speaker is saying better.
Listening to n0n-verbals is the way the message is being conveyed like the tone of voice and body language etc. a listener will observe closely from such non-verbals to help the listener to figure what is going on exactly.
Responding appropriately is whereby we give non-verbal acknowledgements or feedback that we are still listening to what the speaker is saying and understand what is being said to ensure that theres' no gap exists between the received message and the intended message.
Lastly empathetic listening responses are important as its useful in situations where we have to remain cool and obtain as much accurate information as possible when the speaker or listener has the tendency to become emotional.
Recently I have received a email from my friend which i find is quite interesting
You think it is a frog and I think it is a horse!
Moral : We have to respect each other's opinion; you can see it clearly in the above Picture We just need to wait and listen actively to others' point of view!
This picture suppose to rotate anticlockwise. If not tilt your head to the right and you will see the horse. :)
The above is a email which i had received from my friend which i personally find it quite interesting. Its' a picture of a frog but if wait a while when it turn and we look at another angle its a horse.
For myself, I'm not a very good speaker nor am i a good listener especially towards my mother.
Haha....because the things she says is always the same and always her weird theories.
However towards my friends and others, I'm patient with listening to their problems then provide them with my suggestions.
There's a philosphy which i read or hear it from somewhere can't remember where though,
"Man are always looking for people to listen to their problems and provide them with advice and solutions while a woman is always looking for people to listen to their problems and understand rather than giving them solutions."
Often from the breakups i have heard and experienced, people in relationships tends to break up due to lack of communication.
I really hate the words "communication problems" TO THE EXTREME. As I feel that there's no communication problems as it just whether one party is willing to put in the effort to listen to another even if he/she is not interested and the other party should try to express himself/herself even if does not really feel really comfortable. Its through communicating with each other then one will be able to understand the other better.
For myself, sometimes when my friends are talking to me some stuffs when i'm not interested or does not agree with them. I would not argue with them to try to change their views and just tell them "Everyone has their own views and opinions" which is what i feel also.
If i am listening to people who has problems to tell me i would always listen patiently and ask questions like Why like that? How it happens? always trying to find out more about the problems they facing before giving them my suggestions.However sometimes i be distracted and start to become emotional and sidetrack. However at the end of the day when i always give my suggestions, i would always tell them, "Well, I don't know how you will do, but if i were you, I will............. and at the end of day its still up to you to decide for this is your life not mine as i can only give you advice and suggestions but u have to choose for yourself what you want best".
I always like to ask for people's advice when i have problems however i am the sort of person who would always make my own decision before looking for people as i only ask to see whether in people's view has my decision gone out of track and need to make slight changes. Normally i will still stick to my decision and not listening to others as i am stuborn.
Finally, I would like to improve on my listening as i find that by listening to more people about their problems and stories, our perception towards life will change towards better and be more expose to different situations in life without having to experience it directly but by learning from experiences of others. Its an honour to be able to share with people their problems.
エドワルド・マー
9:21 pm
Monday, 14 May 2007
Managing Anger
During the last LMS lesson, we had a role playing session whereby my group acted out on how backstabbing between friends will lead to anger. Backstabbing against your friends is one of the things that you should not be doing, friends are your closest aides always beside you supporting you along the way of life. However even though backstabbing towards your enemies is a descpicable act but it's sort of very effective and will do a deadly blow to your enemies when they least expect and please remember to deal them a deadly blow that they will never recover from for who knows you will be the one to suffer if they are allow to recover from it.... haha I'm a extremely evil and cunning person towards my enemies..so be careful don't try to offend me ^_^Anyway back to the topic, I would say that I'm not a filial child as most of the time my anger would be directed to my family rather than my friends, my mother tends to nag a lot a lot always to a point i wouldn't be able to take it and will start to yell at her and quarrel. She's 1 of the person that always can make my blood boils. In the past, I always sort of have poor anger management as i tends to flare up easily when being provoked.I will be illustrating my how do i response to anger normally by classifying them into the term that i learn COW behavioural Responses to Anger in LMSControlBy confiding with my closest aides who has irritated me till i'm so angryListen to musicGo for a swim to calm myselfOutburstI would simply just throw anythings in my sight around the house when i am quarrelling with my mother or sisters if they really keep provokes me until i am ultimately pissed off... wahaha i'm a bad child...well ok....that my personal life anyway..Or maybe scream loud with herLastly WithdrawalSometimes i couldn't be bother with quarrelling with them when i'm weary, i would simply just lock my room door and shut myself in till the next time to get myself some peace.Well, I understand that how 1 treats the family will reflects on 1 person's characters, but to me everyone is equal, i don't bother whether you are my elders or whoever as long as i feel that i am correct and you are unable to prove me that i'm wrong ..then to me you are the party that is in the wrong. I will simply just scold, yell or whatever depending on situations. To me, friends are people which my tolerance limit will be set to the highest to try and tolerate perhaps they are not my closes 1 so my expectations of them wouldn't be high.Only my closes aides like my best friends or family whom i have high expectations of ...my tolerance for them to do things wrong will be lower haha perhaps due to the fact the i assume after knowing me for so many years they should know the way i want things to be done.Over the years, i have learnt from many of my personal experiences that anger is best expressed after you have calm down if not you might ruin the chances of progressing a friendship. One of my experiences i had was , I had just known a friend whom i can communicate well and if time permits i feel that we would have become best friends, however due to my mischevious i always like to disturb people by pulling hair, one day i disturb her best friends by pulling her hair, she went to help her friend to act as a big sister, we quarrelled even though i was in the wrong, i was very ego and didn't want to admit it. Ever since then we never talk, until recently i added her on msn which was like 4 or 5 years later . I sort of regretted that i should have appologised that day as i'm in the wrong and shouldn't have quarrel with her in fit of anger as to protect my ego. Next that i would say is that by being not angry,you sort of win in this situation as the person who had tried to make you angry has fail in his objective and you have not fall into his trap by being angry.Lastly there are a few other things i have learnt in the lessons are physiological responses to anger like mood swings, headaches etc, emotional responses to anger like crying,disgust etc and directing of anger to the right person as it is wrong of us to direct our anger of quarrelling with your friends at your family members etc.
エドワルド・マー
9:42 pm
Time & Priority Management.
Time & Priority Management is extremely important to me.During my secondary school days, i didn't set my priorites right and manage my time therefore i enter ITE East Bishan.
It is during my studies at ITE and some of my personal experiences of my life that i have learn to understand that life is short, you never know what will happen tommorrow.
"Set your priorites right and do what you really want first and maximize the usage of your time in your life, for Life is short, you never know what will happen tommorrow", this is 1 of the beliefs that i have came to recognize as part of my life now.
Setting priorites right means that you decide which is the most important things that you have to do by ranking them from the most important to the least important.
Managing my time well means organizing my time schedule to allocate to time to my priorities to complete them.
Both are interlinked and when they are utilised properly together you can complete your tasks in the least amount of time provided you have the discipline to follow your time schedule and the priorities you have accept.
I'm sort of trying to stuff as many things as possible into my daily life to learn and do so as to maximize my time.
Currently, my priorities are as follows,
1) Achieve extremely good results in my diploma to enter SMU
2) Master my Japanese Language
3) Learn how to play guitar using guitar tabs and if possible read music notes
4) Learn other new languages when i have the time.
I hope within my 3 years stay in the polytechnic, I would be able to graduate with good results and learn a number of different skills with through proper utilising of time and priorities management.
エドワルド・マー
8:49 pm
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Enhancing of Self-Awareness And Self-Esteem
Self Awareness and Self Esteem....
Self awareness is about understanding yourself , your beliefs and how do you view things.
As time passes, the way you interact with people and decide on things and your actions might slowly let you understand more about yourself. Alternatively, you could get truthful comments from family and close friends of yours to understand yourself better.
By understanding yourself better, you will be able to communicate with people better and appreciate how they think and feel.
Self-Esteem,Self-Respect, Self-Awareness and Self-Confidence are all interlinked with one another.
Self-Esteem is about having confidence in the good qualities that you already possess and be proud of who you are , rather than keep looking down on yourself which is feeling inferior or blaming yourself or others for the bad qualities you possess.
People with low self-esteem always feel worthless and always give up half way in the things they do most of the time as they feel they are unable to meet the mark.
People with high self-esteem will always perserve on with determination when problems or failures arises.
It's all right to meet failures along the way of life, it's more important that you could pick yourself and learn from failures and make another attempt at it.
As the saying goes in chinese, " Failure is the mother of success"
It doesn't matter how many times you attempt or how long you take to acheive the goal, more importantly is that you are able learn from the process and finally attain your goal.
Factors that affect my Self-Awareness and Self-Esteem....
A photo created by my friend
with my old fat self and a
new me 1 year back.
I was a fat student who didnt want to do his homework and is very mischievious trying to gain attention of teachers and fellow classmates with 1 way or another perhaps at that time i find that if i don't do that nobody would acknowledge my existence in whichever way.
My results was really very lousy at that time as i dread studying, nobody in school wants to do projects with me, and i felt quite worthless and down.
When i was in Secondary 4 ,i dropped POA is because POA is a subject that requires a good foundation in the basics however my basics are bad and my Secondary 4 POA teacher seems reluctant in helping me with it therefore i find it pointless to continue and want to drop the subject.
When i went to the principal room with that Principles Of Account teacher because of wanting to drop the subject, the principal ask what i want to study in future after i drop Principles Of Accounts, my reply was Diploma in Banking And Financial Services. The principal and teacher response was "You want to drop POA and you still wan to take Diploma Banking And Financial Services in future" after that they sort of laugh a bit and ask me rethink my decision, i insisted on it and drop the subject due to the fact that i know that POA teacher won't be that willing to teach me and with my poor basics i would rather drop it than to get another result in red in my examinations. Soon, my classmates caught wind of what happen in the principal office and laugh as well.
After 'O' Levels, my results was very bad got L1R4 27 L1R5 33. My ex-POA teacher know my results and show me the hypocrite smile and says "Congratulations, you can go and study in Diploma in Banking And Financial Services" and shook my hands. My friends beside me laughs a bit too. I tried to apply DAE or JPAE but none of the polys accepted me. In the end, using my appeal, i appeal into ITE EAST BISHAN to study Certificate of Accounting. From that day on, I decided to work real hard and prove that hypocrite teacher and others that they are wrong about me that even i drop POA in secondary school i still will be able to get into the course i want one way or another. In the end, I manage to get into the Top 5% of ITE students of that batch and into the course i wanted Diploma in Banking And Financial Services which i am now in and prove them wrong.
As I was saying, I was a fat student previously i was very lazy to exercise and simply hate it, but i was feel inferior of my looks and size. After i entered army, i started to slim down and felt better being more slim and easier to find more clothes to wear. However, i slowly came to understand from people around me and things that happen on me that actually looks and size its not what that matters. What it really matters is your character, what people call the inner beauty. You have to learn to love yourself, appreciate yourself first before others will also love and appreciate you.
I believe in determination and perservance, as what i have mention above it doesn't matter how many times you attempt or how long you take to acheive the goal, more importantly is that you are able learn from the process and finally attain your goal.
My dreams 5 years down the road.....
I have always look down myself as "being 2 decades of music idiot and unable to learn the language i love japanese"
It's been one of my dreams to learn music and japanese language and other languages since young.
With the things i have experienced up till now, i now felt that dreams won't be fulfilled as long as you sit there daydreaming, therefore i decided to take the first step in fulfilling my childhood dream.
I have signed up the japanese language in Ngee Ann Polytechnic and outside with Japanese Cultural Society to learn the language and have enrol in the CCA NPSTRINGS Guitar to learn music. Although i love to learn the most refined music instrutment piano which i feel, i'm unable to do so due to financial constraints. However in future if i have a chance i will enrol in it, currently now i want to do is at least learn how to read the music notes.
I have taken the first step to fulfilling my dreams so the rest is up to how much talent and effort i'm going to put in future.
I'm currently doing my best studying as hard as i can with determination to achieve good grades and participate in CCAs to get CCA points to help me in the entry of university.
In 5 years time, I hope to have master the japanese language and learn how to play guitar and read music notes. I also hope to be in the 2nd year of SMU studying a business degree majoring in Economics and Finance.
Finally, the impression i would like to present to people in their life is a determined, preservance and friendly guy who have sort of motivate them to work hard as well after feeling the pressure from me to work hard to attain good grades and fulfill my dreams.
エドワルド・マー
6:22 pm
You think it is a frog and I think it is a horse! 