During the lesson i learnt that through listening we could improves confidence and self-esteem of the person being listened to and build teamwork, trust and sense of belonging.
I have learnt as well that there are certain ground rules for effective listening.
L Look interested and Lean
I Ignore or Overcome Internal and External Distractions
S Suspend Judgement
T Tell them what you have heard
E Experience their side
N N0 interruption
For listening to be effective,
Our attitude matters as in towards how we are interested in about what the speaker has to say.
We must be open minded to what they say as if we are going to judge against them based on what they are going to say we would not be able to understand from their point of view.
Resist barriers to listening is exercising my self-awarewareness to analyse and identify my listening barriers then i would decide on how i could overcome or deal with the distractions so as to understand what the speaker is saying better.
Listening to n0n-verbals is the way the message is being conveyed like the tone of voice and body language etc. a listener will observe closely from such non-verbals to help the listener to figure what is going on exactly.
Responding appropriately is whereby we give non-verbal acknowledgements or feedback that we are still listening to what the speaker is saying and understand what is being said to ensure that theres' no gap exists between the received message and the intended message.
Lastly empathetic listening responses are important as its useful in situations where we have to remain cool and obtain as much accurate information as possible when the speaker or listener has the tendency to become emotional.
Recently I have received a email from my friend which i find is quite interesting
You think it is a frog and I think it is a horse!
Moral : We have to respect each other's opinion; you can see it clearly in the above Picture We just need to wait and listen actively to others' point of view!
This picture suppose to rotate anticlockwise. If not tilt your head to the right and you will see the horse. :)
The above is a email which i had received from my friend which i personally find it quite interesting. Its' a picture of a frog but if wait a while when it turn and we look at another angle its a horse.
For myself, I'm not a very good speaker nor am i a good listener especially towards my mother.
Haha....because the things she says is always the same and always her weird theories.
However towards my friends and others, I'm patient with listening to their problems then provide them with my suggestions.
There's a philosphy which i read or hear it from somewhere can't remember where though,
"Man are always looking for people to listen to their problems and provide them with advice and solutions while a woman is always looking for people to listen to their problems and understand rather than giving them solutions."
Often from the breakups i have heard and experienced, people in relationships tends to break up due to lack of communication.
I really hate the words "communication problems" TO THE EXTREME. As I feel that there's no communication problems as it just whether one party is willing to put in the effort to listen to another even if he/she is not interested and the other party should try to express himself/herself even if does not really feel really comfortable. Its through communicating with each other then one will be able to understand the other better.
For myself, sometimes when my friends are talking to me some stuffs when i'm not interested or does not agree with them. I would not argue with them to try to change their views and just tell them "Everyone has their own views and opinions" which is what i feel also.
If i am listening to people who has problems to tell me i would always listen patiently and ask questions like Why like that? How it happens? always trying to find out more about the problems they facing before giving them my suggestions.However sometimes i be distracted and start to become emotional and sidetrack. However at the end of the day when i always give my suggestions, i would always tell them, "Well, I don't know how you will do, but if i were you, I will............. and at the end of day its still up to you to decide for this is your life not mine as i can only give you advice and suggestions but u have to choose for yourself what you want best".
I always like to ask for people's advice when i have problems however i am the sort of person who would always make my own decision before looking for people as i only ask to see whether in people's view has my decision gone out of track and need to make slight changes. Normally i will still stick to my decision and not listening to others as i am stuborn.
Finally, I would like to improve on my listening as i find that by listening to more people about their problems and stories, our perception towards life will change towards better and be more expose to different situations in life without having to experience it directly but by learning from experiences of others. Its an honour to be able to share with people their problems.